Bye, DJ Rock Dee

I’m sorry to break up the usual nonsense up in >bounce, but I need to be serious for a minute. Those of you with no tolerance for seriousness (I don’t blame you), please come again later in the week. [-gforce]

Last Friday, Milwaukee DJ Rock Dee passed away. Actually, saying “passed away” seems to minimize what was certainly a horrific episode; for some reason, Rock Dee committed suicide (according to this). He left behind a wife, a two year old daughter and I think at least one other child from a previous marriage.

I didn’t know Rock as well as others in the Milwaukee DJ community (that’s us in the photo above). He’d been to my house a few times, and he gave me my first DJ gig. He was a fixture in the local house scene, and everyone seemed to know him. He’d been DJing and producing since the ’80s, and had a few notable records on his resume, including one with Speech from Arrested Development. Heartbreakingly enough, he signed all of his emails with “No Stress - God Bless!”

But the reason I’m writing this post isn’t really to eulogize Rock Dee. I’ll leave that to his best friends, wife and family. It’s because I just feel like I need to speak up about suicide.

Six years ago, my father died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. It was horrible to grieve his death, and even worse to endure other people’s discomfort with the way he died. I lost friends, listened to moralizing condemnations and watched my family try to cover it up. It was the worst trauma I ever hope to endure. I know I’m stronger for it, but I would never wish it on anyone.

Folks, we need to start talking about this shit. Did you know that twice as many Americans die by suicide than get murdered? And about 90 percent of those that “complete” suicide suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder?

What does that mean? We all need to be less afraid of getting killed and more afraid of getting depressed. We need to recognize depression in ourselves, our friends and families, and treat it. We need to be able to talk about suicide and bring it out into the open if we want to make a difference. Of course, you can’t stop somebody if they’re determined to take their own life. But I have to think some lives could be saved if we weren’t so afraid of the subject.

Take care of yourselves and your loved ones. If you think somebody is going to kill themselves, have the courage to ask. Let them know you don’t want them to die, and call a suicide hotline (1-800-273-TALK) to ask what to do next.

Let’s not let Rock Dee’s death be marked with just another whisper-filled funeral. I have no idea what his circumstances were that made him make this decision, or even if anybody could have known. Rock Dee was a proud guy, and I suspect he was very secretive about all of this. But what I know is this: we need to start talking about this awfulness so that we might have fewer funerals.

Jimmy Spicer
Money (Dollar Bill Y’all)
12″, 1983
The first record I played for my that first DJ job that Rock Dee set me up with, at Milwaukee’s Summerfest. I was terrible, fumbling and embarrassed. But Rock Dee was very kind and encouraged me to keep on, even giving a little speech afterward about how even a 30something mom-of-two can decide to be a DJ, if they love music enough.