Entries Tagged ''80s' ↓

When was the last time you heard a decent cowbell in a song? Of course, you can hear your run-of-the-mill “Low Rider” and “Hey Ladies” any damn day.

But a well-placed cowbell is really a gift. Deceptively tinny and deceivingly lowbrow, the cowbell is a creeper instrument. It starts out with a little tink-tink sound - you barely know it’s there - often growing more pronounced until folks are shaking asses up, down and all around without even knowing what got them there.

However! The cowbell can also be an instrument of evil. Beware the cowbell’s unnatural power over weddings and bar mitzvahs, as evidenced in Wild Cherry’s “Play That Funky Music” and the most wretched of all cowbell songs, Tone Loc’s “Funky Cold Medina.”

Let’s get to the awards: here are my five all-time favorite cowbell joints, in ascending order.

5.
Master Jay & Michael Dee
T.S.O.B.
12″, 1980
Perfect, perfect. So perfect. Master Jay & Michael Dee spit over the Sound of Brooklyn, which I guess is a couple of hot boogie breaks, a kick, a snare and a cowbell the size of Madison Square Garden.

4.
Sugarhill Gang
8th Wonder
8th Wonder, 1981
Cowbell use here is almost under the radar, creating the unconscious funkiness. But still: Woo-Hah! They got you all in check.

3.
Michael Jackson
Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough
Off The Wall, 1979
Nothing much needs to be said here, except DAMN, MIKE! If you were thinking right, you woulda spent all that surgery money on a time machine and a week of Quincy Jones’ production. You coulda been somebody again…

2.
Quincy Jones
Sanford & Son (The Streetbeater)
45, 1973
And speaking of Quincy, how could such a fine-ass man write such a nasty, funky TV theme? It sounds like a LeMans with no muffler, Fat Albert and a rusty old cowbell.

1.
Sergio Mendes Brasil ‘88
I’ll Tell You
Magic Lady, 1979
This has got to be the hottest cowbell song of all time. It has everything: handclaps, growling female vocalist, and the lyrics make no damn sense. It’s like somebody poked their head in the studio to ask for directions to the Piggly Wiggly or some shit, and Sergio said, “Write zees down! Eet’s a song!” or however you say it in Brazilian. And then he brought out the cowbell and it was ON.

So what about you? What’s your favorite cowbell song? Don’t act like you don’t have one.

The Thriller video is 25, y’all. Happy birthday to one of the most seriously bangin joints of all time, with the most seriously sick choreography. Don’t act like you don’t know it in your damn sleep, people.

And don’t act like you don’t have an original leather Thriller jacket hanging in your closet. Oh wait. That’s me.

Thanks to BB for the 411.

• MTV
• Music Videos
• MTV Shows
• Entertainment News

My sweet, dear reader(s): I’ve been gone, it’s true. Morebounce has been crazy busy, for real. Work’s got me hustling it harder than Weezy at the VMAs, and then I took a vacation to my old hood up in the Dirty D.

My trip to Detroit was fresher than wonder bread - tasty food, nice wine, and the lampin was out of control. So you know I was all up in some of my jammies from back in the day. Now, radio in general gets the gas face, but damn, I miss my WJLB. Especially after 10, when they get it started for the old folks!

So I thought I’d post a few joints that bring me straight back to The Warehouse, Taboo, The Shelter, and some of those other broke-ass clubs in which I spent my formative years:

3rd Bass
Steppin’ to the AM
The Cactus Album, 1989
Oh lurrd, I wore this tape out in the Plymouth Horizon.

Wham!
Young Guns (Go For It!)
Fantastic, 1983
This was a staple in the Federlein household. What with its rebellious anti-marriage theme and charming English-as-a-second-language title, we just couldn’t resist. Highly amusing banter from that toilet-cruiser, weed-lovin’ George Michael.

Bizzie Boyz
This is How it Should Be Done
Droppin’ It, 1989
Oh HELL. This was my jam. In 1989, dropping this meant jiggling asses and spandex skirts at the Warehouse. Not that I ever wore that filth.

MC Fosty & Lovin’ C
Radio Activity Rapp
12″, 1984
In 1983, Royal Cash released the original version of this song, and MC Fosty of LA’s Rappers Rapp Group flipped it up the next year, making it a huge hit in Detroit clubs. And my old place, Spanky’s: the destination club for Detroit’s finest teen break dancers.

Lillo Thomas
I’m In Love (Longer Luv Mix)
12″, 1987
This was all over Detroit radio back in the day. It’s got those crazy ’80s synthy basslines, and meaningless lyrics; in other words, my jay-um!

Cybotron
Cosmic Cars
12″, 1982
Juan Atkin’s second release ever, and the one song that instantly brings me back to my early teens. With its futuristic vibe and ridiculously funky car horn, it’s the quintessential Detroit techno joint.

I remember the first time I ever heard “Forget Me Nots.” I was at my girlfriend’s house after dance rehearsal, and she flipped on some video show. I was all, “Ooh, that’s got a bounce! Who is that?” My friend took a break from checking herself out in the full-length mirror and was all, “Oh, that’s Patrice Rushen. She’s a jaaaaaahhhhhzzzz artist.” And then Miss Thing flipped her hair, for real.

Please. Who even talks like that? The only thing that girl knew about jazz was her damn jazz hands in those corny-ass routines she practiced up in her bedroom. Hm.

But all bougie pretenses aside… old girl was right. Patrice Rushen didn’t just sing bouncy joints to heat up the roller rink; her jazz roots run deep.

Miss Rushen was a child prodigy on the piano; her parents even sent a three-year-old Patrice to USC music classes. After winning a competition at the prestigious Monterey Jazz Festival at 18, Miss Rushen went on to compose, arrange and record a grip of jazz albums. Her sound became progressively funkier until she finally gave into the forces and went boogie in the early ’80s. Her pure jazz fans were disappointed, but roller skating fans were rejoicing in the damn streets.

Patrice’s sound is smooth and funky, with an unmistakable bounce - the result of her years of classical training and impeccable instincts. Her songs have been flipped, covered and chopped to death by everybody with a turntable and an 808, and they sound just as fresh today as they did 25 years ago.

So now you can bust some Patrice for your snooty Miles-Davis-Coltrane friends and be all, “Oh, you don’t know any of Rushen’s work? Shaaaame.” And then ditch those snoozers and get with a real crew. Damn.

Patrice Rushen
Haw Right Now
Prelusion, 1974
Hot straight ahead jazz instrumental, crazy keys. Nice, full natural afro on the album’s cover, too.

Hang It Up
Patrice, 1977
You can hear Patrice’s sound start to get funkier here.

Haven’t You Heard
Pizzazz, 1979
Forget that churchy Kirk Franklin remake. This is the original, irresistible jammie.

Remind Me
Number One
Forget Me Nots
Straight from the Heart, 1982
This was Miss Rushen’s biggest selling album. “Number One” won a Grammy, and she scored monster hits on the R&B charts for “Remind Me” and “Forget Me Nots.” All straight classics, flipped by everyone from Mary J. Blige to George Michael.

Prince is 49 today, and even though he’s weird and churchy and wears orthopedic shoes, I would still hit that without hesitation. And even though it would be difficult, I would even keep the swearing to a minimum, ’cause I know he’s not down with the profanity any more.

Happy birthday, Prince!

Prince
Le Grind
2 Nigs United 4 West Compton
The Black Album (Bootleg), 1987
Prince pulled this album from distribution two weeks before its release in 1987, either because he saw the damn devil, or he had some bad X, depending on who you ask. It’s his loosest, darkest and funkiest album, and this girl’s favorite. It was finally released in 1994, but by that time, any Prince fan worth his assless pants already had two copies.

Back in the day, “Le Grind” was the funkiest dance cut this side of Rick James, but the real joint on this album is “2 Nigs.” It’s a classic Revolution jam that you never want to end. And just when you get to a part that makes you say “good God!”, it gets even funkier.

I know folks get mad and say The Black Album was thrown together, and isn’t up to the Rude Boy’s usual standards, but to those people I have only this to say: Prince Does Not Make Mistakes. Y’all better keep it cute, or put it on mute.

The Time
Tricky
Ice Cream Castles 45, B-Side, 1984
Oh my damn. Morris Day and Prince eating chicken and hating on George Clinton. I’m about to take a mop and a bucket to those drums, they’re so damn funky.

What is the matter with people these days? Have we all forgotten what decent party music is?

“Disco-Dancing” lessons are no longer offered at my local bowling alley, afro puffs are sadly on the decline, and I don’t even remember the last time I saw a preview for a roller skating-themed movie.

When I asked my graphic designer if he knew what kind of music “boogie” was, he said to me, “Gretchen, I was born in the ’80s.” What does that even mean? That young people are deprived of boogie culture today, that’s what it means. It’s really quite sad. Everybody deserves the giddy bounce of a great roller jammie.

So here you go, shorties, 10 tracks for your rolling pleasure. Strap on your skates, hike up your suspenders, and get boogieing. You will thank me later.

Roy Ayers
Love Will Bring Us Back Together
Fever, 1979

Junior
Mama Used to Say
12″, 1981

Brick
Dazz
Good High, 1976

Alicia Myers
You Get the Best From Me
I Appreciate, 1984

Carl Carlton
She’s a Bad Mama Jama (She’s Built, She’s Stacked)
12″, 1981

New Edition
Cool It Now
New Edition, 1984

Teddy Pendergrass
I Don’t Love You Anymore
Teddy Pendergrass, 1977

Skyy
Call Me
Skyy Line, 1981

Kano
I’m Ready
12″, 1980

Rick James
Below the Funk (Pass the J)
Street Songs, 1981

I’ma tell you what the word is. “Word Up” is one broke-ass song. It wasn’t even good the first time. But after top 40 saturation and a Cherry Coke commercial, it was downright stank.

But Cameo was so much more than “Oww.” All right, they were a lot of “Oww,” especially after 1984. But back in the ’70s and early ’80s, these brothers threw it down dirty. Way before the red codpiece, Larry Blackmon and company had a hot horn section and that inexplicable funkiness that settled right in your gut.

Not that there’s anything wrong with a red codpiece.

Cameo
Rigor Mortis
Cardiac Arrest, 1977
The original, the classic. If you don’t bounce to that hook, we’ll be over right directly with that embalming fluid for you.

Shake Your Pants
Cameosis, 1980
Exuberant, irresistible boogie cut. Ooooh… ah-ah. You’ll need extra pants for shaking.

Alligator Woman
Just Be Yourself
Alligator Woman, 1982
“Alligator Woman,” Cameo’s paean to the worst girlfriend in the world, can get repetitive, but dayum, I’m a sucker for that bassline. “Be Yourself” is crazy twangy, slappy bass with ridiculous lyrics. Kind of a self-help jam for the funky set. Only dumber. But funky.

Remember that crazy white band Was (Not Was) from the ’80s? With those busted Ray Bans and Sammy Hagar hair? Don Was, the dude with the nappy hair, happened to be one of the illest producers around.

Now, those of you who are not from Detroit and still remember that unfortunate dinosaur jam, stay with me here. Not only did Don go on to become a Grammy-winning producer in the ’90s, his early ’80s work produced some of the funkiest joints this side of Nile Rodgers. In fact, he took an old broken-down Sonny & Cher song, flipped it up, and produced the delicious electro-funk remake The Beat Goes On.

So when I bought this 12″, I would have been perfectly happy for the rest of my life just owning this gem. But then I flipped it over to see what was on the other side, and OH. MY. GOD.

Flamethrower Rap!!!! Right there, on the other side, was a song I had been trying to remember for at least a month. All I could hear in my head was, “Are you ready to throw down? Yes! We! Are!” It wigged me out that I couldn’t remember the song, and here it was, a perfect sendup of the J. Geils song, in my hands. Mixed by the one and only Don Was.

And without dinosaurs of any kind.

Orbit and Carol Hall
The Beat Goes On
12″, 1982
Straight up one of the best electro jumps ever.

Sonny and Cher
The Beat Goes On
In Case You’re In Love, 1967
I don’t get it.

Felix and Jarvis
Flamethrower Rap
12″, 1982
If you’re not ready to throw down yet, you will be.

The J. Geils Band
Flamethrower
Freeze Frame, 1981
I’m not a huge J. Geils fan, but this bassline is the dopest.

Was (Not Was)
Walk the Dinosaur
What Up, Dog?, 1987
Download this if you hate yourself.

It’s time Morebounce gave some love to The Gap Band; they’ve had it pretty rough over the years. After getting no critical respect at all for their ’70s funk, the three Wilson brothers from Tulsa finally scored a few club hits in the early ’80s. Bangin’ hot funky joints - and then urban radio promptly played the shit out of them, straight onto everybodys last nerve.

For real: if you were born before 1974, you probably still can’t listen to You Dropped a Bomb on Me without wincing.

If that story isn’t sad enough for you, just look at them. Somebody’s momma dressed these poor boys in rainbows and cowboy hats. It seemed The Gap Band didn’t even have a chance.

But as we all know, time has a way of healing the musical memory, and tempering even the most painful outfits. The Gap Band deserves a little respect. The truth is, these brothers kicked out some stanky hot jumps. Jumps that stand up to all the radio play, rainbow shirts and general ’80s malaise you can throw at them.

And I’m not the only crazy that thinks so. Hip hop artists across the board finally got love for some Gap Band. Besides raking in all their sampling royalties, the Wilson three spend their time producing and even guesting for hip hop heavies.

I Don’t Believe You Wanna Get Up And Dance (Oops, Upside Your Head)
The Gap Band II, 1980
This is how it’s done, people. Anybody can bust a rhyme about ass shaking, but can you write a whole song about a single dance floor callout?

Burn Rubber (Why You Wanna Hurt Me)
The Gap Band III, 1980
Sweaty and perfect. I still can’t decipher all these lyrics.

Outstanding
Gap Band IV, 1982
Way overplayed. Still nice, though.

You Dropped A Bomb On Me
Gap Band IV, 1982
Do not ever play this around me or I swear to Rakim, I will crack you one.

Party Train
Gap Band V - Jammin’, 1983
Best party song ever made, hottest video. Just try not to bounce.

Beep A Freak
Gap Band VI, 1984
Hey, everyone else was doing songs about computers, why not?

Snoop Dogg Featuring Charlie Wilson and Justin Timberlake
Signs
R & G (Rhythm & Gangsta) The Masterpiece, 2004
Snoop, Justin AND Charlie Wilson?!? Now that’s just too much for me.

Last weekend, I visited my old Detroit hood and hit up an old favorite record store. Bad news: it seems the time for 12″ records has long passed at Record Time. Good news: they still got the bangin 45s!

Back in 1983, Deele members Kenny “Babyface” Edmonds and Antonio “L.A.” Reid didn’t want to do nothin’ but the two things they did best: shake their satin pants (and especially on this cut, shake them they did), and shout powerful and bewildering commands to the dance floor (where is my jigglette and how do I slam it?). Add to the mix Midnight Star producer Reggie Calloway, and the Deele was fixin’ to knock over some furniture with this joint.

Get your pimp doll jammin’/jigglette slammin’ on:

The Deele
Body Talk
Street Beat, 1983