Entries Tagged 'disco' ↓

When was the last time you heard a decent cowbell in a song? Of course, you can hear your run-of-the-mill “Low Rider” and “Hey Ladies” any damn day.

But a well-placed cowbell is really a gift. Deceptively tinny and deceivingly lowbrow, the cowbell is a creeper instrument. It starts out with a little tink-tink sound - you barely know it’s there - often growing more pronounced until folks are shaking asses up, down and all around without even knowing what got them there.

However! The cowbell can also be an instrument of evil. Beware the cowbell’s unnatural power over weddings and bar mitzvahs, as evidenced in Wild Cherry’s “Play That Funky Music” and the most wretched of all cowbell songs, Tone Loc’s “Funky Cold Medina.”

Let’s get to the awards: here are my five all-time favorite cowbell joints, in ascending order.

5.
Master Jay & Michael Dee
T.S.O.B.
12″, 1980
Perfect, perfect. So perfect. Master Jay & Michael Dee spit over the Sound of Brooklyn, which I guess is a couple of hot boogie breaks, a kick, a snare and a cowbell the size of Madison Square Garden.

4.
Sugarhill Gang
8th Wonder
8th Wonder, 1981
Cowbell use here is almost under the radar, creating the unconscious funkiness. But still: Woo-Hah! They got you all in check.

3.
Michael Jackson
Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough
Off The Wall, 1979
Nothing much needs to be said here, except DAMN, MIKE! If you were thinking right, you woulda spent all that surgery money on a time machine and a week of Quincy Jones’ production. You coulda been somebody again…

2.
Quincy Jones
Sanford & Son (The Streetbeater)
45, 1973
And speaking of Quincy, how could such a fine-ass man write such a nasty, funky TV theme? It sounds like a LeMans with no muffler, Fat Albert and a rusty old cowbell.

1.
Sergio Mendes Brasil ‘88
I’ll Tell You
Magic Lady, 1979
This has got to be the hottest cowbell song of all time. It has everything: handclaps, growling female vocalist, and the lyrics make no damn sense. It’s like somebody poked their head in the studio to ask for directions to the Piggly Wiggly or some shit, and Sergio said, “Write zees down! Eet’s a song!” or however you say it in Brazilian. And then he brought out the cowbell and it was ON.

So what about you? What’s your favorite cowbell song? Don’t act like you don’t have one.

I remember the first time I ever heard “Forget Me Nots.” I was at my girlfriend’s house after dance rehearsal, and she flipped on some video show. I was all, “Ooh, that’s got a bounce! Who is that?” My friend took a break from checking herself out in the full-length mirror and was all, “Oh, that’s Patrice Rushen. She’s a jaaaaaahhhhhzzzz artist.” And then Miss Thing flipped her hair, for real.

Please. Who even talks like that? The only thing that girl knew about jazz was her damn jazz hands in those corny-ass routines she practiced up in her bedroom. Hm.

But all bougie pretenses aside… old girl was right. Patrice Rushen didn’t just sing bouncy joints to heat up the roller rink; her jazz roots run deep.

Miss Rushen was a child prodigy on the piano; her parents even sent a three-year-old Patrice to USC music classes. After winning a competition at the prestigious Monterey Jazz Festival at 18, Miss Rushen went on to compose, arrange and record a grip of jazz albums. Her sound became progressively funkier until she finally gave into the forces and went boogie in the early ’80s. Her pure jazz fans were disappointed, but roller skating fans were rejoicing in the damn streets.

Patrice’s sound is smooth and funky, with an unmistakable bounce - the result of her years of classical training and impeccable instincts. Her songs have been flipped, covered and chopped to death by everybody with a turntable and an 808, and they sound just as fresh today as they did 25 years ago.

So now you can bust some Patrice for your snooty Miles-Davis-Coltrane friends and be all, “Oh, you don’t know any of Rushen’s work? Shaaaame.” And then ditch those snoozers and get with a real crew. Damn.

Patrice Rushen
Haw Right Now
Prelusion, 1974
Hot straight ahead jazz instrumental, crazy keys. Nice, full natural afro on the album’s cover, too.

Hang It Up
Patrice, 1977
You can hear Patrice’s sound start to get funkier here.

Haven’t You Heard
Pizzazz, 1979
Forget that churchy Kirk Franklin remake. This is the original, irresistible jammie.

Remind Me
Number One
Forget Me Nots
Straight from the Heart, 1982
This was Miss Rushen’s biggest selling album. “Number One” won a Grammy, and she scored monster hits on the R&B charts for “Remind Me” and “Forget Me Nots.” All straight classics, flipped by everyone from Mary J. Blige to George Michael.

I have always loved loved loved Nas, ever since the Illmatic days. From “NY State of Mind” to “Play On Playa,” I’ve been his straight up Stan.

But what has God’s Son done now? Is he seriously flipping Nipsey Emmer-Effin’ Russell on his new track? From the 1978 cinematic masterpiece The Wiz?

Just so I can be clear here: Nas, Nipsey, and a wistful tin man ballad… ALL IN ONE SONG. Is there there any doubt that not only is Nas a hip hop pioneer, but also a man of impeccable taste?

Nas
Surviving the Times
N*gga, 2007**
I love this so much I am crying right now.

Nipsey Russell
What Would I Do If I Could Feel?
OST, The Wiz, 1978
*Sigh.* Nipsey, if you could feel, you would surely come back from your grave and do a little soft shoe for Nas. He done you right.

Nipsey Russell
Slide Some Oil To Me/Now Watch Me Dance
OST, The Wiz, 1978
My favorite part of this is when the wooden chorus sings backup on the boards. Aww. Watching this makes me sad that Nipsey’s gone.

Quincy Jones
Poppy Girls
OST, The Wiz, 1978
Ooh, this was the nasty part! Sounds kind of like The O’Jays’ “For the Love of Money,” only dirtier, and with more cheeba cheeba. I didn’t realize this was a straight ’70s porn jammie until I was about 32.

Michael Jackson
You Can’t Win
12″, 1979
I know I already posted this a while back, but any disco joint with a floppy scarecrow and funked-up dancing crows deserves another listen. After the soundtrack came out, this song was so popular that MJ released a disco 12″. This is the kind of thing that makes me bitter that I wasn’t old enough for the clubs in the ’70s. A girl can dream…

**This is a rumored title. Def Jam says “hells naw,” but Nas’ PR crew confirms: “buhleedat.”

What is the matter with people these days? Have we all forgotten what decent party music is?

“Disco-Dancing” lessons are no longer offered at my local bowling alley, afro puffs are sadly on the decline, and I don’t even remember the last time I saw a preview for a roller skating-themed movie.

When I asked my graphic designer if he knew what kind of music “boogie” was, he said to me, “Gretchen, I was born in the ’80s.” What does that even mean? That young people are deprived of boogie culture today, that’s what it means. It’s really quite sad. Everybody deserves the giddy bounce of a great roller jammie.

So here you go, shorties, 10 tracks for your rolling pleasure. Strap on your skates, hike up your suspenders, and get boogieing. You will thank me later.

Roy Ayers
Love Will Bring Us Back Together
Fever, 1979

Junior
Mama Used to Say
12″, 1981

Brick
Dazz
Good High, 1976

Alicia Myers
You Get the Best From Me
I Appreciate, 1984

Carl Carlton
She’s a Bad Mama Jama (She’s Built, She’s Stacked)
12″, 1981

New Edition
Cool It Now
New Edition, 1984

Teddy Pendergrass
I Don’t Love You Anymore
Teddy Pendergrass, 1977

Skyy
Call Me
Skyy Line, 1981

Kano
I’m Ready
12″, 1980

Rick James
Below the Funk (Pass the J)
Street Songs, 1981

What’s with all the young’uns remaking “Buddy?” These days, it seems like you can’t even walk the two blocks to the Disco Fever without hearing someone bumping a “Buddy” remix in their Gremlin. I’m making that up. I live at least three blocks from the Disco Fever. In my head.

The Heavy D remix is kind of nice, but Musiq Soulchild’s voice is a dead ringer for child molester/scat enthusiast R. Kelly’s. Also, “Musiq Soulchild” is up there with “N’Sync” in the dumbass name hall of fame.

Of course nothing comes close to the original, but it’s nice to see such a great track resurrected. Opinions?

De La Soul
Buddy (Native Tongue Decision)
12″, 1989
The original. Possibly the most perfect representation of what can happen when you put together the Native Tongues, a Disco break, and that ’80s “do who ya like, just wear a jimmy cap” vibe. Queen Latifah, that’s my lady right there. Not like that, pervs.

Musiq Soulchild Feat. Heavy D
Buddy (Remix)
2007
He had me at “diddley.”

Musiq Soulchild Feat. Fat Joe and Ja Rule
Buddy (Remix)
2007
Altogether too much spelling up in here. I’m not a four-year-old trying not to go to B-E-D, people. Just spit your damned rhymes.

Musiq Soulchild Feat. Lupe Fiasco
Buddy (Remix)
2007
I thought Lupe was supposed to be all indie and shit? Oh well, ain’t nothin’ goin’ on but the rent, I guess.

Taana Gardner
Heartbeat
12″, 1981
Classic disco from seminal label West End Records. Nice and lazy. Also the backbone to every “Buddy” incarnation.