Entries Tagged 'give me strength' ↓

Look, I knew what I was getting into when I moved my ass back to the Midwest. Football, freezing winters and casseroles. For real, did you know you can feed six at a potluck with not much more than a can of cream soup and some Tater Tots?

But this winter has gone too far. The temperature has been below zero all weekend, nobody’s car is starting, and my skin feels like dust. I can’t take it any more. There are only so many pairs of socks a girl can wear until the Air Force Ones don’t fit!

I need summer back. But until then, I’ll have to settle for a couple of these warm, sunny jammies. With a nice hot casserole, of course.

Bar-Kays
Too Hot to Stop
Too Hot to Stop, 1976
Filthy funk; if this doesn’t make your ass sweat, your ass must be broke. Or you’re not looking at the picture above closely enough. Thank God for this song. Nobody’s asking you to stop, Bar-Kays.

Leon Ware
Why I Came to California
12″, 1982
Motown producer and Detroit native Leon Ware knew how to do it. Knock out a few masterpieces for Marvin Gaye like “After the Dance” and “I Want You,” then get your shit out to the West Coast, where you’ll never scrape another damn windshield. Write a song about it.

The Sun
Sun Is Here
Sunburn, 1978
Oh lawd, The Sun! These poor freezing boys from Dayton, Ohio knew what it was like to wreck a pair of gators in the snow. What to do? Write this heater to fight off the elements, of course. Sadly, this was their only hit, so they’re probably still in Dayton in front of the radiator right now.

Big Daddy Kane
Warm It Up, Kane
It’s a Big Daddy Thing, 1989
Nobody warms it up like the Kane. I heard he never gets cold.

Lupe Fiasco
Sunshine
Food & Liquor, 2006
Lupe’s from Chicago, so not only does he have deep knowledge of the cold, he’s withstood the crazy gale force winds they get down there. This joint’s so pretty, you almost forget it’s off an album named for the corner stores all over Chicagoland. Stores Lupe probably walked through the blizzards to get to. Ooh, look at me, I just made a circle!

You can’t be his siamese unless you’re #1, too. But you’re not, because Kanye is the #1 human.

Last weekend, I visited my old Detroit hood and hit up an old favorite record store. Bad news: it seems the time for 12″ records has long passed at Record Time. Good news: they still got the bangin 45s!

Back in 1983, Deele members Kenny “Babyface” Edmonds and Antonio “L.A.” Reid didn’t want to do nothin’ but the two things they did best: shake their satin pants (and especially on this cut, shake them they did), and shout powerful and bewildering commands to the dance floor (where is my jigglette and how do I slam it?). Add to the mix Midnight Star producer Reggie Calloway, and the Deele was fixin’ to knock over some furniture with this joint.

Get your pimp doll jammin’/jigglette slammin’ on:

The Deele
Body Talk
Street Beat, 1983

How could I love this hustla any more? It’s not just because we just might share some family lineage; it’s that he ain’t ever gonna be anything but Kevin Federline. Some people spend their whole life trying to find what they were meant to do, and here he is, doing that shit 24/7.

K-Fed isn’t even of this world. First of all, vanilla definitely made up that nickname himself. He brags about money that isn’t his, and you know he grew up in one of those houses with an engine hanging from a tree in the front yard. But on top of that, he’s always saying crazy shit, like: “I passed the G.E.D. with flying colors!” Brother is touched.

But the best part about playa is that he is totally without irony. Like his pop culture predecessors Rob Van Winkle and MC Hammer, he refuses to believe that the joke is on him. Oh, you think his rhymes are “moronic” and “a travesty?” Hell, yeah! That’s why they call him “America’s Most Hated!” Act like you know!

And to make his album even hotter: somebody done told K-Fed that “whip” means “car.” He uses it in almost every single song! Did I mention I love him?

You need to stop listening to me, and just listen to that Federline magic:

Snap

“I’m K. Federline and I pull better dimes/’Cause Benjamin Franklin is a good friend of mine.”

Privilege

“It’s going down like a fresh pair of panties/Cab looked better than a couple pair of Grammy’s.”

Lose Control

“Don’t hate ‘cuz I’m a superstar and I married a superstar/Never come between us no matter who you are” [Except if you are Britney! -Ed.]